2008: A Year in Review

2008, a pivotal year in my life, comes to a close tonight. Reflecting upon this epoch of hellos and goodbyes, successes and failures, and love and heartbreak, I've realized that my most life-changing experiences did not occur at the beginning, nor end of the year, but rather, somewhere in between.

My last days in high school were truly some of the happiest times in my life. I tried desperately to preserve this ecstasy and enjoy it throughout summer, even after graduation. After all, graduation, in a general sense, is just the transition from one level to the next, right? I tried to make the most of it, but the longest summer I've ever had in my life passed far too quickly. No matter how hard I tried, some things couldn't graduate with me -- they didn't fit into the next level. I realize now that some things are better left where they are. Sometimes the best things aren't meant to last -- like a firework that burns bright for a few awe-inspiring breaths as opposed to the dull flicker of a withering candle.

That pivotal time in my life brought with it one of the most challenging frustrations I've had -- uncertainty. Where do I go, where did I come from, where is home, who am I, who are they? I felt stranded between the past and the future. Stuck in the present, equidistantly fixed between a place I no longer recognize and a place that does not recognize me.

Ultimately, I had no choice but to move on. Do not let my glib use of the term "move on" suggest that it was an easy task for me. In this second chapter of 2008, I dealt with some things way beyond my maturity level. Aside from maintaining my honors program requirements, finding friends at school, and rediscovering my friends at home, I had so much in front of me. I admit, it's all very.. perhaps scary is not even the right word. Overwhelming, maybe? It's overwhelming to think of all the possibilities, the opportunities, and adventures in store for me. If anything, I really tried my best to tackle the future and try new things. I've done some traveling, tried some social things outside of my comfort zone, and picked up new hobbies. How has this changed me?

The following is an excerpt, an albeit an embarrassing one, from my xanga. Unfortunately I don't have a blog entry documenting 2007, but this is better than nothing:

06: A Succinct Reflection
pressure
crushes
heartbeats
heartbreaks
no sleep
big dreams
depression
dark days dealt with dance.
hood up
head down
smile
style
and many miles
left to walk.

To be honest, not much has changed as far as the things presented there. The vital change is in the way I approach and handle these things. Replace "Hood up" and "head down" with "chin up".

Lastly, I thought I would keep with the tradition of some phrases to recap the year, but with a little twist. A friend of mine told me she loves lists. I hope some of these will trigger memories, because believe it or not, I'm not that much of a loner. Some of these might even pertain to you!

Firsts (or in a long long time):
Taco al pastor
Smash tournament
Cookie baked
L'uau
Cry
House party
Time superspotted
Date
F
Time away from home

Lasts:
Time in the SACs
Use of The Metaphor
"Stocks" App on iPhone used
Time on superfuture 3.0 (RIP)
Clase en español
F

New Years Resolutions:
1. Stop setting self up for failure
2. End this list abruptly to ensure #1.

See you next year.